Poetic Justice

Shauna Dacres

30/08/2013

One wrong mistake took me out; I felt that I was drowning in the mist of my tears when the judge sentenced me to 5 years imprisonment. I felt this way because I saw my life flash before me. Every second, every minute, of every day, I felt that I wasted the last years of my teenage years being in prison and not doing anything remotely constructive. I remember I was put on a ‘Restorative Justice’ course: Sycamore Tree. I knew nothing about this; the only indication of what was meant by the word ‘restorative’ was to amend.

I started the course thinking that it would not benefit me. However, I found that it had helped me to help myself in dealing with the hurt and pain that I caused my family and me; I learnt to accept.

The course was designed to raise victim awareness and also to bring the offender face to face with the victim so that they could have their questions answered with an apology. This was a unique opportunity for the victim and the offender to communicate so they both could find closure and move forward.

During the course I found useful tools that would help me to understand how my actions can and would affect those around me.  For example, the ‘ripple’ effect, this was demonstrated by the offender dropping a coin in a pool of water which would then create ripples throughout the pool. The coin represented me and the ripples where my actions and each ripple got bigger as the coin sank.

From that day on my outlook on life changed, I had more consideration for others, I cared about what people felt or thought. Most of all I cared about what I had put my family thought. Desperately trying to gain the respect and trust from my family especially my mum, I made a conscious decision that when I left prison I would try my best to help young people from going to prison and wasting their teenage years, as I knew having been locked up day after day, and night after night. This was no life for a young person who hasn’t lived or seen the world. There was more to life than just sleeping, there was more to life than just 4 walls and a small window that I could hardly stick one leg out of. There was more to life than looking at walls with disturbing thoughts of previous prisoners.

I wished and hope for the day I walked to freedom, I wish for the words ‘you’re free to go’. I often thought to myself, once I’m free what as the future got in store for me? Will I ever find employment? Will they accept me for me? Will I ever put the past behind me and will I cope?

Lo and behold I was free, after serving a two and a half year sentence. Upon release I had set myself targets that would help me get back on track and start my life again. I was lucky enough to have the help of service providers who helped me find employment. I had been short listed to go for an interview for a social enterprise scheme CanDo Coffee, who wanted to offer employment to people who had been involved with the criminal justice system. I was happy for the opportunity of employment and because they cared to help those with a criminal conviction, and I accepted the position as a Coffee vendor. Unbeknown to me the work I wanted to get involved with was a stone’s throw away from me, at User Voice! This gave me the pleasure of working on the Youth Team as a Youth Engagement Coordinator. Carrying out the responsibility of this role has enabled me to help young people to engage in positive and meaningful activities. It also allows me to share the journey that I have been on at such a young age. If I can reach out to one individual and make a difference in their day to day life then for me it is job done.