Shauna Dacres
30/08/2013
One wrong mistake took me out; I
felt that I was drowning in the mist of my tears when the judge sentenced me to
5 years imprisonment. I felt this way because I
saw my life flash before me. Every second, every minute, of every day, I
felt that I wasted the last years of my teenage years being in prison and not
doing anything remotely constructive. I remember I was put on a ‘Restorative Justice’ course: Sycamore Tree. I knew nothing
about this; the only indication of what was meant by the word ‘restorative’ was
to amend.
I started the course thinking that
it would not benefit me. However, I found that it had helped me to help myself
in dealing with the hurt and pain that I caused my family and me; I learnt to accept.
The course was designed to raise
victim awareness and also to bring the offender face to face with the victim so
that they could have their questions answered with an apology. This was a
unique opportunity for the victim and the offender to communicate so they both
could find closure and move
forward.
During the course I found useful
tools that would help me to understand how my actions can and would affect
those around me. For example, the ‘ripple’ effect, this was demonstrated
by the offender dropping a coin in a pool of water which would then create ripples
throughout the pool. The coin represented me and the ripples where my actions
and each ripple got bigger as the coin sank.
From that day on my outlook on life changed, I had more consideration for others, I
cared about what people felt or thought. Most of all I cared about what I had
put my family thought. Desperately trying to gain the respect and trust from my
family especially my mum, I made a conscious decision that when I left prison I would try my best to help young
people from going to prison and
wasting their teenage years, as I knew having been locked up day after day, and
night after night. This was no life for a young person who hasn’t lived or seen
the world. There was more to life than just sleeping, there was more to life
than just 4 walls and a small window that I could hardly stick one leg out of.
There was more to life than looking at walls with disturbing thoughts of
previous prisoners.
I wished and hope for the day I
walked to freedom, I wish for the words ‘you’re free to go’. I often thought to
myself, once I’m free
what as the future got in store for me? Will
I ever find employment? Will they accept me for me? Will I ever put the past
behind me and will I cope?
Lo and behold I was free, after
serving a two and a half year sentence. Upon release I had set myself
targets that would help me get back on track and start my life again. I was lucky enough to have the help
of service providers who helped me find employment. I had been short listed to go for
an interview for a social enterprise scheme CanDo Coffee, who wanted to offer
employment to people who had been involved with the criminal justice system. I
was happy for the opportunity of employment and because they cared to help
those with a criminal conviction, and I accepted the position as a Coffee
vendor. Unbeknown to me the work I wanted to get involved with was a stone’s
throw away from me, at User Voice! This
gave me the pleasure of working on the Youth Team as a Youth Engagement
Coordinator. Carrying out
the responsibility of this role has enabled me to help young people to engage
in positive and meaningful activities. It also allows me to share the journey
that I have been on at such a young age. If
I can reach out to one individual and make a difference in their day to day
life then for me it is job done.